


Osmosis

by Shoulderpads



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alcohol, Assassination Attempt(s), Emperor Ling Yao, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Promised Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoulderpads/pseuds/Shoulderpads
Summary: Ling’s coronation goes off without a hitch, the party? A little less so, but it’s only a small thing when you’ve learned from osmosis.(From a 2018 zine that I just forgot to ever post lol)
Relationships: Lan Fan & Ling Yao
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Osmosis

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! So this was my submission to “Royal Pain” which was a free zine collaboration about Ling Yao. I just completely forgot to post it, and I was going through some old docs while doing stuff for an upcoming project and found this. I’ve been pretty drained of energy and motivation lately so here’s some old stuff to help tide over anyone who follows my work.

Ling had a taste for the extravagant and always carried an air of someone who lived lavishly, but he’d never been to a party with as much splendor as the one celebrating his coronation. The Yao clan had the resources and size to put on quite the shindig, but the colors that painted the room both in vibrant lantern light and in guest attire could burn someone’s eyes out, and the fog of chatter hung heavy and loud amidst the throng of partygoers. 

The Yao clan was certainly more fortunate and prosperous than many others, but the floors didn’t usually reflect his face back at him at home. He preferred outdoor parties lit by the stars and lightning bugs. They had pavilion with soft flooring which sat in the middle of gardens that paled in comparison to the palace ones, but gave enough beauty and fragrance to make Ling happy. No matter how regal the event, Ling always ended up running about in the grass. 

He grinned at the memory of his seventh birthday when Lan Fan had chased after him in an attempt to stop his shenanigans, and he’d managed to tip both of them over the garden bridge into the water below. She’d even gotten a fish stuck in her still awkwardly fitting armor. Ling had laughed until he hurt that day, but Fu had not been pleased with the display. 

He frowned, a pang in his chest knowing the old man wouldn’t reprimand him anymore, but Ling liked to think he’d matured since then and that he wouldn’t need it. He at least wouldn’t go running around under the title of Emperor-well not during a party anyway. He already received strange looks for his young age and the Amestrian slang that had settled into his vocabulary. He didn’t need anyone watching him play in the grass and dirt, especially when he knew he had controversial and unorthodox plans for the future. So he’d stay inside the stuffy room, poised and genial with his trademark grin plastered to his face. 

The first breath of fresh air Ling had in hours came when Mei tugged him away from a particularly boring conversation with some contentious members of his father’s old council. His half sister explained she’d decided to retire for the night, a little overwhelmed with all the people and grandeur. If Ling was already exhausted, he couldn’t imagine how she felt. 

But lucky her, she could leave. 

At least she gave Ling a brief reprieve from talking to what felt like every person in the country. He’d never thought he’d prefer the company of screams over the droning of the self-important.

“Hey Lan Fan,” he said to the middle distance, waiting for her to materialize by his side. His throat felt dry. 

“Yes, Your Majesty?” 

“Let’s go get something to drink, I’m parched.” He began to weave his way through the crowd and away from the wall he’d leaned against after bidding Mei and her panda a good night. 

If he’d planned the event, rather than some officially appointed party planners, he probably wouldn’t have included the little bar settled in the corner. A few guests lingered around the area and seemed to enjoy it, so Ling couldn’t complain, plus the allure of the unknown and mysterious drew him closer. 

Lan Fan took notice of his direction and sped up, closing some of the respectful distance she kept from him. “But you’ve never even had any,” she pointed out. 

Ling shrugged carelessly. “Then tonight seems as good a time as any!”

“You’re only seventeen.”

He glanced back at her with a sly grin. “I’m the emperor, I can do whatever I want.”

She sighed, but placed herself at his back as he seated himself at the minibar. 

“Ah, Your Majesty, it’s an honor, what can I get for you?” the bartender greeted cheerfully. 

Ling forewent the menu, none of it would mean anything to him anyway. “Give me your specialty! I don’t know what kind of tastes I have.” He smiled, watching the man pour various liquids together. It looked like a science, though Ed would probably take offense at such a statement. Ling chuckled at that. 

The bartender handed Ling his finished drink. “A gimlet,” he said. 

Ling’s smile dropped slowly, and his eyes narrowed dangerously at the glass pinched between his thumb and first finger. 

“My Lord, allow me to try it befo-“

Ling held up his hand. “That won’t be necessary, Lan Fan.” He placed the glass on the table, eyeing the bartender. “You said this is a gimlet?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, is it not to your liking?”

“That’s strange.” Ling ran his finger along the glass’s rim. “See, because gimlets are usually more of a green color, and this is awfully red. Gimlets are also a cocktail, so they should be served in a cocktail glass. This is a margarita glass, close, but not quite.” He rested his chin in his other hand. “And it’s not that I’m opposed to red drinks or margaritas, just that when a new emperor is crowned, I’d expect only the finest service in Xing.

“So,” his eyes flicked from the glass to the bartender. “I take it this isn’t your usual gig? Your day job is probably assassin or something, right?”

“Your Majesty, I don’t-“

“Lan Fan, please arrest him and take this drink in for testing.”

The man sputtered, “You have no proof! You can’t do this!”

Ling laughed darkly. “Well I’m not going to drink it to find out!” His face returned to a serious glare, “And remember who you’re speaking with.”

Lan Fan rounded on the man’s back and forced him over his counter. Ling grabbed the drink and saved it from the man’s upper body. 

“And don’t worry, I am a just man. If this drink comes back from the alkahestrists clean and safe, and you really are just bad at your job, I’ll let you go, compensate you financially, and even send you to classes where you can learn to do better.” Ling rested his elbows on the edge of the table, his chin on his bridged fingers. “How’s that sound? Fair?”

The man simply pressed his forehead down and sighed. Ling sighed as well, “I’m glad we agree,” he said to the wall while Lan Fan cuffed the suspect, “I also want to investigate whoever hired him.”

“Of course my lord.”

He walked with her to the palace’s brig, cup in hand, not wanting to be alone with any of the other guards. He missed having more than one person he trusted with his life to watch his back. Having just Lan Fan was tricky and wore on her. He hated it. 

After leaving the brig, they headed to Mei’s room. The palace had other alkahestrists, but he knew Mei personally and had become close to her in the time leading to this day. She wouldn’t betray him here and now. 

“Young Lord.”

Ling grinned as Lan Fan slipped into his older title.  
“How did you know all that?”

“Know all what?” He’d been spacing out. 

“About what a, what was it? A gemet?”

“Gimlet.”

“Yes, like that! How did you know all that?”

Ling opened his mouth to answer before slowly closing it, brows furrowed, and finger curled around his chin. “Well that is strange, isn’t it.”

Lan Fan walked beside him, concern, confusion, and curiosity painted across her face. 

“I suppose it’s just something I picked up,” he smiled sadly. “Guess you can learn by osmosis.”

The next day, after Mei had found the time to thoroughly test the drink in question, she returned to Ling with a positive results, showing a lethal toxin between vodka and cranberry juice.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m shoulderpads-mcgee2 on tumblr if you wanna find me! :^)
> 
> And comments are always appreciated!


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